Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
