Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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