uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize