fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
