I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
