i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
