I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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