your thong is hanging out like whoa
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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