I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
too bad you live with your parents still
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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