i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think people are normalizing furries
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
