i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize