Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
