so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
