Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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