i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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