Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
