Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
