I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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