its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I am one with the molecules
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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