u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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