the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There's always time for handjobs
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Randomize
