High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
