and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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