Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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