either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
