she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Congratulations! We have a period
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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