Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
