I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
