She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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