the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize