I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
