dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
they call him Oral-B. enough said
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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