i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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