I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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