the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
