We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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