if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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