You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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