I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it glows. i had to have it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
