She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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