wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
