we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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