Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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