Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Can you bring me the toilet please
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
