I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
