He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize