my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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