Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
