Can i not drive my cunt home
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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