is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
