you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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