If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
