what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
