You're my little dorito
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
