hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
