i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
