The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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