why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
