I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I bet he comes in French.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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