8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
