You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
