dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
