I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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