sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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