Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
