i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Never underestimate the power of titties
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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