Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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