just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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