Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
