Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Even the bartender felt bad for me
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
