Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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