he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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