Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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